Happy New Year!!!
I LOVE New Year's Day. Some people might find that odd when they learn that I've experienced profound loss on this day. Today marks the 15th anniversary of the day my brother Bobby passed on at the age of 19 as a result of a drunk driv
er (that's him in the picture, being his silly self, he always could make me laugh harder than anyone else I ever knew). Just before Christmas last year, my Grampa unexpectedly passed away. I had intended to make a visit to see him (he lived in Montreal) as it had been many years since I had, but I never got the chance. It was also one year ago today that I took my furbaby Kitter to the hospital with liver failure, and thought 
I was going to lose her then. She recovered, but as some of you know, I did have to say a final goodbye to her just 10 days ago (there she is in healthier days... isn't she pretty?). At almost 23 years of age, her old body just wasn't serving her anymore.So, this time of year, for me, and for many of you I know, is marked by serious loss. And that can make what is supposed to be a joyous time of year, overwhelmed by difficult emotions. However, I choose not to dwell on these emotions. Sure, I remember my lost loved ones... but you know what? I remember them almost every day at some point. I think of my brother, and of my Grampa and my kitty - and of my Nana who I lost this year in April as well - all the time. But am I going to let all those times I think of them drag me down and make me sad? If I did, I'd be depressed all the time!
No, today is really just a day like any other that I remember my dearly departeds. Why should I reserve this day as a day to mourn over and over again? Rather than bring in a new year with old painful energy, instead it's a chance to focus on all the possibilities before me. To set my sights on more positive energies and goals. I can look at the year gone by and be thankful for what was good (I can count a few things), and say good riddance to those things that weren't so good (and unfortunately that list is pretty long for me for 2009). I actually envision kicking the year in the pants through the door and slamming it closed behind it! LOL Sayonara baby!
So do I make NY Resolutions? I sure do. I keep reading articles and hearing commentary by people (including "experts") that making resolutions is a waste of time, we put too much pressure on ourselves and start out all gung-ho and inevitably lose that drive after the first 2-3 weeks of pushing ourselves too far outside our comfort zones.
In my opinion, this is throwing the baby out with the bathwater. So we've tried and failed in the past, does that mean we shouldn't try again? Why not just learn from the past that when we're setting our goals for the year ahead, we need to develop a reasonable and gradual plan for change?
If you're inspired, as I am, to harness the energy of the fresh new year ahead to start something new and positive for yourself, then go for it! If your goal is a big one, break it down into smaller pieces... baby steps. Start with something that you KNOW you can do, and work on that until you've created a new habit. You'll know you've created a new habit when you no longer have to consciously decide to do it, it's just happening automatically. And often, you start experiencing the intrinsic rewards that come from making the change, which makes it self-perpetuating. You don't have to fight off old impulses quite so hard anymore (although don't let your guard down... at times of stress, or change, those old habits tend to rear their ugly heads, even YEARS later... believe me, I have learned this the hard way in 2009).
Once you've established one new habit to replace an old undesired one, pick the next thing you're ready to take on, and build on it. It's these gradual sustained changes that will get you from here to there so that at this time next year, you'll be looking back on 2010 with a sense of accomplishment, pride, and joy for having done it!
As for my resolutions, this year is the year of taking care of ME. I'm going to accomplish this in two ways. First, taking care of myself physically with good healthy food, regular exercise (including the introduction of CONSISTENT strength training), and getting adequate rest (that one's not usually too hard for me!). Of course I've been making THAT resolution for years, and have come a lonnnnnng way from the days when I ate my way into obesity and depression (you can look at my website on the Meet Audrey page if you want to see pictures of that). But this year, I'm taking a different approach. In the past, I've been primarily motivated by the desire to lose weight. Of course, as a nutritionist I care about my health, but my healthy eating plans have always revolved around my weight loss goals. This year, it's about TAKING CARE of myself. I'm going to feed my body what it needs and wants as an act of self care.
The second way I'm going to accomplish this is by working on building more positive and supportive habits of THOUGHT. After a very stressful 2009, I've let myself get kind of worn out, and succumbed to "woe is me" thinking. But that is doing nothing to help myself move upward. So every day, I am going to do something to create some new positive thinking pathways in my brain and start working on quieting those old "stinkin thinkin" habits that have been practiced since I was probably about 7 years old. Ways I'll do this include:
- reading books and articles and watching movies and shows that reinforce positive thinking
- talking with friends who have positive perspectives on things
- becoming more aware of my limiting thoughts and challenging them - either in my head, or through journaling
- meditation and visualization of positive outcomes
- use of affirmations - repetition helps create new neuro-pathways in the brain helping to create more positive thoughts automatically
- consciously focusing on what I'm grateful for each moment, day, week, or month... writing my gratitudes down in a journal sometimes too
Happy New Year everyone,
In health and happiness,
Audrey
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